A rewind moment… Ostensibly a kid, and I’m about to take that long walk to the piano, not my piano but the one in the little concert hall where a recital is being held. Every year I’d go through the same thing, sitting there in an inner sweat, rehearsing my piece in my head, dressed to the nines in my best dress and my T-strap shoes. I’d be almost the last to play or the last, sitting there… Learning how to wait under stressful situations. And then my name would be called, I’d walk to the piano listening to the click of those fancy leather shoes in that hall…. I’d sit down in front of the keys, poise myself, breathe in quietly, and I’d play. It would be a blur of tone as my fingers traveled the keys… Each year a longer more complicated and elegant piece of music. I’d play it the way I rehearsed it with notes, tempo, dynamics all exactly the way it went on my mother’s piano at home for weeks on end. At last it would be over, the guests would applaud politely and I’d
Yesterday was a very uncomfortable day for me. One of those days that one hates to answer the phone because things are already not good and yes, here’s another person just raining on the already horrible day. When the sun finally set and I sat watching the clouds change color in the sky, I thought back on just how many really bad days I’d ever had in my life.
Death always ruins the day. I recall when my brother died, then my grandmothers, my father and most recently my mother… All days that seem to last a year before the stars were visible. I’m sure you can relate. Then less dramatic, but painful, was the day a person I thought was my friend who lashed out at me, for reasons unknown to me (surely a misunderstanding) in a very public place. Another bad day was the one years ago on which I heard how ill I was, and that it would be a long journey back to good health… Then the long journey… Not much fun. All long dark days.
Why do we have to travel through these uncomfortable periods? Why can’t we just sail through life like the people who live down