In March of this year, 2020, illness began to sweep countries, beginning with China. It was all encompassing. People dying by the hundreds. Persons ill by the thousands. It seemed to come out of nowhere like a flash flood taking souls to God and suffering to everyone. In my home country of the United States we saw a rush on food stores and pharmacies for supplies; larger cities like New York City had hospitals struggling to find beds for patients as they also brought in doctors to take extra shifts. Wear a mask became the catch phrase… That, and “Social distance please”, which no one in the USA wants to do… We’re all about hugging. This, while all along the president of our country tried to tell us that it was no big deal and just chill out. That was the beginning of it all. Then, it got worse. And now? We all know that many months later, that illness called COVID-19 is still with us with no cure as of yet.
We are living through this while we are experiencing social unrest, economic upset, a particularly uncomfortable national election year; and then there’s all of our individual lives filled with bills, kids (add to that learning on line), all the other illness and accidents that occur which require medical care while trying to make a living for family and self. And, with this said I don’t think I’ve even covered it all. Have I?
For my part, my husband suffered a major medical event which put him in the hospital for 40 days. At first no one seemed to know what had happened. There were tests and scans and then came the first of two surgeries. He endured but did not get well. Then came surgery number two. He endured but did not get well, all the while losing weight and fading from the life he once had. At last came a procedure to help him get nourishment while he waited for his body to heal. Now he was feeding from a tube. He endured but did not get well. The one procedure gave a stop gap until he would heal and get well. They weren’t sure this would even work; he was told it would; medical help hoped it would work. Nothing seemed to bring a real success, so he was sent home with professional home health care (not good… Nurses were came who didn’t know how to set up his feeding tube, nurses didn’t show up… ) But it didn’t go on long because on day four of being at home it was clear to the two of us he was heading downward and I had to call 911. The paramedics left with him while two firemen stood with me by their fire truck in the street. We watched him leave in a speeding ambulance. It wasn’t long before a call came in over their radio that my husband had coded and the ambulance was diverting to a trauma center; the firemen knew what that meant far beyond my hopes; they told me to go in the house and call someone to stay with me. (They thought he was going to die.) Into the house I went while those ambulance attendants manipulated their patient’s blood pressure to keep him alive; upon arrival, he was admitted to ICU in trauma care. Everyone worked feverishly, fearing for his moment of death, but hoping to keep him alive. And here, it gets really amazing.
The trauma nurse assigned to Hubby called on the phone. “Is this Mrs. Temple? Okay. Your husband is very very critical and we’ll do our best to save him.” I was thinking to myself “very very… That can’t be good.” He continued, “Your husband is in a septic crash… His heart, pancreas, kidneys, liver are failing… And, his lungs are infected and filling with fluid.” Is he going to be okay, I questioned to myself. He continued, “A surgeon is going to be calling you soon. We’ll do the best we can to save him.” We hung up the phone.
I have a strong relationship with God. Most of the time I have questioned God for wisdom, asked help for friends and family, praised and thanked God. I have not always received the answer I asked for; it’s tough to hear “No”. But I am sure that no matter the answer, I have faith that it is the right one… He is God; I am not. That night as a Pandemic of illness raged around the world with a national leader who seemed to not care or lead, I turned to God and prayed the following: “Father God, I have watched my grandfather die, my brother, my father, my mother, and a son. And, I received it all with grief and obedience. But I cannot do this! Please do not take my husband home. I just can’t. Do. This. Save him! Please!”
Now. Pandemics are all about waiting… Waiting for a cure, waiting for loved ones who are ill to get well, waiting to get a report on their status since no one can go into the hospitals. It is no different with all the other reasons that loved ones enter the hospital and become patients. Waiting. And, that night, I was waiting for my friend to help squelch the quiet of the house, waiting for the surgeon to call, waiting to know anything. This Pandemic created a new kind of waiting due to the contagious nature of COVID-19. Before this horrible time, we could be in the hospital with our loved ones to comfort them and feel some kind of value as we wait; but now it’s wait in the silence of an empty house with no news, no sight of loved one, no touching to comfort. All there is, is an imagination that wants to fly out of control and tell you the worst thing possible. COVID-19 did this. Consider also that this waiting happens while all the rest of our life continues to flow all around us… The rest of your life is still plodding along into history, while you are paralyzed in thought as to whether that loved one is going to make it out of there. Paralyzed with waiting it out while we social distance, and wear our masks.
At last my friend was with me and at last the surgeon called. These were the words she said that still to this minute are loud and clear in my mind’s ear: “He has to have surgery again. I will try to save his life, but you must know that the odds of his living are not good. Do you have a living will?’
“What? A living will! Yes, but just go do what you have to do for him!” We hung up.
That was at 2:00 in the morning. For the rest of the night, I spoke with God recounting the fact that Hubby was the good man that should be saved. I recounted his many times that he had helped someone. I recounted the grace under which he lived. I recounted the father he was to his children. I recounted the promises of God. I prayed and prayed. And then at 6:00 in the morning the phone rang again. It was the surgeon.
She spoke to me not like a surgeon but like she was my friend. She was excited after what was surely a long night for her and her team. And she said, “He made it! I didn’t really do much. There was a moment that we were losing him and the anesthesiologist got a strong and sudden urge to become aggressive with his part of the surgery and your husband rallied! He is still very critical and it will be touch and go for 48 hours. But he made it! ”
We again hung up and it began to rain. Rain which felt like a whip cream on a delicious ice cream sundae. Yes. It was a miracle. And when it’s a miracle, it’s always a witness to many. At 2:00 the afternoon of that same day, I received a call from Hubby’s ICU nurse. “Is this Mrs. Temple?” He was very excited. “Mrs. Temple your husband is awake from his induced coma! Oh my gosh, he’s standing! Your husband just stood up beside his bed! ”
From that Trauma Center and ICU came two weeks in an adjoining hospital and he did begin to get well! It had been a wild ride of blind faith coupled with that agonizing endurance, but he made the progress he needed and took the next step toward recovery. Hubby went by ambulance to a critical care facility to try to regain his strength and life. He was told that if he worked hard he would have a better recovery; and this was a man who wanted a stellar recovery. He amazed everyone by walking on his own power from the rehab to my arms. And, it would be important to note that most people leave that kind of a rehab on a walker or in a wheel chair. Not this man. Bill knew he’d been given a new life by God; so he honored it by hard work and recovery.
My husband has and continues to witness to many medical people that God hears the prayers of those who pray… That as they struggle through this horrible time of disease, not everyone dies… That even with a Pandemic of gigantic proportions, God will save a good man that is prayed for by many.
As I type here in my study, my husband is in his home office working, having just spent an hour and half in a rehab gym. I am still amazed at the grace we have received. And, so thankful. So as I continue to view the world so sick, and families suffering through life I highly suggest prayer to the one and only God on High. He is in control of everything. He has His reasons for everything that is happening in the world… And, what He does requires our attention. To each of us, God is sending a message. And, I say that not knowing what you all believe. He is in control even when we are suffering through it all. I don’t know how or when the Pandemic will end; I can assure you that when we are looking back at it all, there will be goodness and well-being to be found for having lived it. “For suffering takes you to endurance and endurance takes us to character, and character leads us to God, who gives us hope through the Holy Spirit.” – Romans 5:4-5
Blessings in your day! May your prayers be answered with understanding. He is a great God.
Carolyn Thomas Temple