Hey there!
Last night I wrote a satire on romance novels. I understand that many of you may read them and find them most enjoyable… Good! I’m all for readers! Read! We are all of us different sorts and what may be interesting to one is conceivably boring to another. This is acceptable. What would not be acceptable would be to stop reading, for reading is one of the great gifts we enjoy in this country of ours. It takes us away from our anger, or our anxiety, or our stress, or our sadness. It lifts us out of the trenches and places us on a cloud where only we can live with words and phrases that fill our hearts with goodness.
My husband is one of the great readers of all time. Always has been! He can read all day and not even miss eating! And, I could leave the house, come back, and leave again and he wouldn’t even know! He LOVES reading more than breathing. We’ve had many discussions about his reading… and I’ve made peace with the fact that in many ways, he prefers authors to his wife and work. (And please know that I’m smiling as I say this.) Hubby is a very VERY hard working, caring man!
Well as I was thinking about having taken a pot shot at romance novels and that reading can become an addiction for some… at one point, I thought hubby’s reading was an addiction because I was a new bride and the books were getting more action than I was….
I thought… why not take a crack at writing my own romance novel about a reader and then let you take a crack or two at me. I’m ready to have some fun. Are you? Oh and one more thing? Any resemblance to hubby and me in this story is purely coincidental! Here goes… a bedtime story with a cttemple twist:
Bedtime at the Banners – story in two parts
Marian Banner went into her bedroom as she always did, preparing for bed. She removed her clothing and placed it in the hamper near the corner in the bathroom. Then came her shower. Marian thought of Frank the entire time she washed. She had not made love to him in so very long. Months in fact. It was always this way but she was a patient woman who had been given promises. He had put her off so many times recently but he had promised her this morning that he would spend time with her, touch her, love her and it would be tonight.
(How am I doing? Did I learn anything from those two books I read?)
Her husband had been Marian’s one and only love ever since she met him in high school. Marian loved the smell of him, the smile of him, the strut he had when was so sure he had the right direction in life. She had followed that strut throughout their educational experience until at last he asked her to marry him. Now some thirty years later she was still so very much in love with Frank, and longed for him until he came through the door of their beautifully kept 3500 sq. foot house.
She stepped out of the warm shower and began to towel down her frame. A smile crossed her lips as she touched herself with the body powder that smelled of innocence. She slipped into a night gown and reached for her toothbrush. Two minutes and then sweet breath… she dreamily reached for her lotions and rubbed them into her face. Then came her facial cream and 100 stokes with a hairbrush through her thick red hair.
Still she dreamed of Frank. Frank!
(Hang in there… it’s going to get better!)
She glided across the room and pulled back the satin sheets. Into the bed she slipped and laid her head on the soft pillow. Marian thought of him, his mouth, his face, his frame, his voice, and the scent of him. How she loved and wanted Frank Banner in every way.
Enter Frank Banner in dress pants, shirt collar unbuttoned and tie pulled asquew. his thick hair was everywhere but where it belonged. His eyes went to her, then, he smiled and passed her to the dressing area and the bathroom. She could hear him removing his clothing. The water in the shower was running. She knew it wouldn’t be long before he was with her. He would towel off and dress in his pajamas, finish up and come to her.
And he did come to her. He gave her a kiss and smiled into her face with eyes of love.
(Hang on… this is no normal romance!)
“Marian, you look lovely tonight! Did you have a good day?”
“Yes, I did,” she began. And as she spoke, he did the unthinkable and picked up a book.
“Maybe he was just moving it,” she thought. “Maybe he’s just going to put it in the drawer.”
But he didn’t do that. Frank climbed into bed and fluffed his pillows up and opened that book to what looked like the last quarter of it. He removed the book mark and placed it carefully on his nightstand. And he began to read.
“How could he do that,” she thought! “This was to be our night. This was to be MY night! And now he’s reading a book. Again. Still!”
Marian climbed out of bed and stomped over to the window. She drummed her fingers on her folded arms. Did he understand that she was upset? No way.
Marian turned from the window to look at her husband of thirty years. He was deeply wrapped inside the plot of his book. He sighed as he read. Probably more out of the relief of having a busy day done and over with… but to Marian Banner it meant only one thing. He was enraptured by every word this book, this “she devil,” this love of his had to say!
“Look at him touching her… as if she were delicate and desirable! Look how he turns her pages when he should be turning me this way and that!” Marina hated her. She wanted Frank back. She was tired of sharing him with someone who had his attention at the dinner table, in the car, after dinner, in bed and anywhere else he could possibly take her and leave Marian ignored and alone. She was angry at him for wanting and desiring and choosing another over her not only tonight but all those lonely years. Jealousy filled her delicate female frame. Marian’s innocence slowly boiled into passion… and then it became revenge.
“She has to go,” thought Marian. “She has to go forever!” The fact that she was talking about a kind of murder never even entered her mind. The fact that she was plotting right there in her own bedroom to kill didn’t even bother her. All Marian could think was that she was a justified woman and this lover was leaving one way or the other!
***********
What on earth has she got up her sleeve? Does he have any idea what’s going to happen to him? Is she sane or crazy as a loon? Tomorrow night…
In the mean time, read, read, read! Enjoy your lives. I’m going to bed and join hubby who is probably doing just that!
Best… Carolyn Thomas Temple