If only. The two words that when you put them together they say a world of pain and disappointment.
If only I had not given him the money to buy the car he would be alive today, or…. if only I had practiced piano this week Mrs. Temple would not have given me so much work, or… if only I had slept last night I would never have hit Hubby’s car.
If only if only if only. These are words from the mouth of the devil… if only. They don’t take a person anywhere good, they just make one unhappy and keep people in a holding pattern.
“If only” are words that my goddaughter could say with full emphasis on pain and suffering. When she was just 12 years old with the world before her… student body vice president, straight A student, ballerina, harpist, pianist, violinist, and sister to two lovely girls… Rebecca’s life came to a screeching halt. She suffered a massive head injury in an auto accident which left her with brain damage to her short term memory. She suffered months in a comma and awakened to find that she could no longer speak. She had to learn to do that
“If only”… if only she had been wearing her seat belt maybe she would never have had to suffer. “If only”…
But here’s the thing that makes “if only” run for cover. Bec doesn’t say this. Nor do her mother and father. Nor do her two sisters. They say things like, “I love you, Bec.” They say, “Bec, remember to follow your list of requirements today.” They say, “Bec, let’s go to lunch.”
In other words the are living their lives to the highest quality possible, and they are taking Rebecca with them.
As for Rebecca herself? Bec is amazing. She always has a smile on her face. She always has something pleasant to say.
When I spent the night with her last month for her birthday, she told me that she gets tired of people talking down to her, like she’s an idiot. And she is not! They see her crippled body and can’t go passed that. And even as Bec was telling me this, she quickly put a smile on her face and moved on. She was not going to say, “if only.”
You want to know more about what kind of person Rebecca truly is? She sent me a card today in the mail. It sounds just like her. It says:
“May you always have enough happiness to keep you sweet;
enough trials to keep you strong; enough success to keep you eager; enough faith to give you courage; and enough determination to make each day a good day.”
Bec gave this card to me. She went to store and bought it, wrote a note to me in it, and mailed it to my home; but in truth, this is the way she lives in spite of her horrific injury. Even though she wished me well with it, this card is all about her and her courage.
She is a truly beautiful person whom I try to emulate. I have suffered many tragedies, but never have I been laden with one like hers. I am humbled when I think of her, see her, and sit with her. No “if only.”
May we all look at our lives and find the courage to be more like Rebecca Watts.
God keep you safe and well.
Best… Carolyn Thomas Temple