A moment is a sixtieth of an hour. It is also called a time of excellence… such as, “He/she was in the moment.” It is a stage in history or a logical development… as in, “from moment to moment.”

I have been considering the impact of this word, this event on my life. And as I have done this, the devil has sent me the phrase, “If only”… If only I had done this, or if only that had happened. So, the logical conclusion from that type of thinking is that it would have been better the other way, than where I’m at right now.

For example, almost to this day, twenty years ago, I was serving on the Alumni Admissions Board for the University of Denver. I was back there for a convention of sorts. And, at the banquet the final night I was asked if I would sing (I sang professionally for some years and toured successfully) for the attendees. I agreed to do it if everyone would put a minimum of $50 into a plate as a donation to the university. (I figured if I was going to have to do this, we might as well make it work for the school that we all supported.) It was agreed upon.

In my black backless cocktail dress (at that time, I performed so much I had a closet full of them) I walked to the front of the hall and stood by the piano that no one would play to accompany me… I was to sing acappella. I thought in only a moment as I stood there, “What can I sing that they would appreciate acappella?” It came to me to sing “Summer Time,” from Gershwin’s Porgy and Bess.

As I prepared to begin, it became so quiet that the dishes in the distant kitchen could be heard clanking away as kitchen help cleaned up. I turned my head and scanned my audience… very serious, very intent on what they had just paid for. I almost laughed… they had paid 50 dollars for two and a half, maybe three minutes of music with no accompaniment.

I knew this piece very well. I had sung it to my children when they went to bed…very soft and low. I had sung it in concert halls with dynamics and crescendos. I had sung it in a stadium of 35,000 people with everything from lighting to costumes to a very expensive sound system. So I knew how to play this piece, and how to share it with any kind of audience.

For two and a half of these “moments” I worked my way through the lyrics telling a story and flying through the melody that lead to an end. And when the end came, I did what I knew was a three point landing for this piece. I waited… made them wait for the last note, and instead sang a very soft and steady cadenza… I floated them through all of the notes and carried them to a place that is made by God because I KNEW this piece. And at the end, I held them and held them and held them. And when the moment was ended, I ended as well.

I have been loved by many audiences for what I have sung. But never had I earned thousands in two and half minutes for one organization.
As I worked my way back to my seat, I passed the Chancellor’s table with all of his board seated there with him. He reached out and took my hand and told me how much he loved what I had just done. And then… THEN he invited me to move up to the Chancellor’s Board.

This was a great opportunity to travel the country and represent the university. But me? I thought of my husband and four sons, and I said, “Thank you so much, but no, I don’t think so.” I recall the shock on his face which made me wonder if anyone had ever told him “No.”

Now, as I reinvent myself sans children etc. I wonder if I was a great fool…. that when in two and an half moments I was excellent, I missed my moment in time. The devil drives me wild some days telling me what a great fool I was. The Holy Spirit says, “Let it go.”

I believe very strongly in God, and that I have a constant companion in the Holy Spirit. So to say that I believe in accidents would be a lie.
I now cannot sing very well at all because I have suffered deeply from stress as I cared for my now deceased mother. My vocal cords are fine but the muscles in my chest and shoulders are severely knotted, and this keeps me from being able to support tone correctly. I was devastated when this happened. It was like being Samson and having my hair cut off. Knowing all of this, I would still have made that choice in a heart beat. But I paid for it! And I gave up a chance those twenty years ago to be more than I am when I (again) chose to care for others over myself. I paid both times with what I most loved to do… responsibility to my family.

Or did I… After the diagnosis was made on my inability to sing, I was told to get some counseling and the person I was sent to was a PHD counselor who was also a Catholic nun. She told me I was so accessible, that there was really nothing wrong with me other than my feeling of loss.

She continued with this: “We are living longer and longer. And, as we live longer, we humans are expected to go through passages and to change for the sake of God’s plan. You are going through a passage. God took this beautiful gift from you temporarily, I believe, because He couldn’t get your attention. He has something else for you to do besides sing, Carolyn. It is for you to find your way through this tunnel of darkness to the light of that aim. You are strong, driven, and caring. You will find it! When you find that aim, think of me and tell me what it was.

I am wondering if my new “moment” is to write. I am wondering if my moment is to love others through this writing. I am thinking that I am meant to share what I know about strength, love and courage with others… and they are meant to do the same in kind, and give it away in whatever fashion you feel God leads you to do.

Is it? May we all find our moment(s) in time!

Best… Carolyn Thomas Temple